Long hard day of work

I'm sitting here relaxing in the lovely Marmac computer room after a long hard day of work that consisted of things like soaking, prophecy, and eating at the expense of my employers(I do that everyday). I just finished listening to my prophetic tape recording, it was pretty much my usual prophetic stuff, you have lots of the Holy Spirit and their is room for lots more, place your calling in the center of your heart, bring more balance into your life/ministry, and that their is so much inside of me that I refuse to let out but it needs to come out.

I think the first prophecy, about the Holy Spirit, is what everyone gets, cauz everyone can be filled with the Holy Spirit, nothing special in the sense of uniqueness there. The second one got me a little aprehensive about going home because she said that I need to place my ministry in the center of my heart so that it is a priority, which it is now but what she said made me feel as if there will be lots of distractions ,which is very likely because my bussiness will take up alot of time and I have alot of bussiness lined up add that to friends that love to do something everyday and every night = lots of distraction. Another thing that was said about me placeing my calling and ministry in the center of my heart is fruit coming out of that in the form of intimacy with God. The balancing thing is my interpretation of what the chic said about me holding a long table from one end only, like one of those folding tables in Marmac, and that it was heavy and I held it but it was a strain, but then she saw me move to the middle of the table and hold it their and it was easy, she also said she didn't know what it meant. I took it as that fact that I need more balance in my life/ministry because I tend to be super strong in some areas and those I jump into and then weak in others and those I stray away from. The last thing said was about a bag and a person being locked up in their screaming ot get out. That is so me! When I was younger I was very eccentric and talkative, but over the years I began to observe that it's not always so good to stand out or to be different so I conformed myself as bested I could to society and culture around me, which only just in the past 7 months I've been undoing and I think I'm about to the point of being me, cauz I'm not all that wierd and different(just a lil). I also developed this stupid thing of not speaking to people unless spoken to or formally introduced. The main part of me that this prophecy spoke to though is my passion, or lack of. Using my left brain ways of thinking long ago I concluded that passion was a weakness as well as was hope(I had been let down to many times). Because if you have extreme amounts of passion or hope then if you fail or what you were hoping in doesn't come about your left with crushed dreams, where as if you have little passion or hope then when things down come about you can move on to something else or try again as effeciently as possible. Well my hearts been telling me that this doesn't work (that you'll eventually break down). So over hte past year I've been daring myself to pick up passions, dreams, and hopes. But I've been doing so in a cautions way, guarding my heart every step of the way (which is not a bad thing when done in balance). Another aspect of that is my melancholy like behavior, which has been slow at dying. This behavior, the monatone voice, the lack of complements to others, etc...

one thing I was glad about these prophecies was that they didn't mention me playing music, starting culture based churches around the world, or working with many young adults. Probably about the last ten times I've had prophecies its been about those three things, so this was a nicer break but also kind of the usual.

hmmm... this is a rather personal entry into my blog... I started this at a suggestion from someone to blog about my prophecies... ah its good for me to be personal I guess. I hope I didn't bore anyone to much.