Bible study and CNN my friend.

I'm doing some work on my computer and listening to CNN in the back ground, Bush is speaking about his new energy plan. The plan sounds excellent, for years I've been saying we should use our own energy sources more then foreign energy, and this plan is going to do just that. He is also talking about faster advancements in technology, yes God yes, more tech stuff, hehe.

What I was really going to post about though is Tuesday night Bible studies, specifically my thoughts and emotions on it. Three years ago I would have never started Bible study let alone lead it, I don't believe so much from fear but from lack of desire and passion. Now I have started a Bible study but I seem to be lacking something. Probably a medium of hermeneutics, a way to explain my concepts in laymen's form. I also have difficulty teaching more in-depth concepts because of how much faster my thoughts move then my speech, so I end up stuttering and then skipping over half of my teaching because my brain already past it up and I've gotten off focus because I have to translate my thoughts into laymen's terms. So I something like "Proper hermeneutics begins with solid exegesis, the only proper control for hermeneutics is to be found in the original intent of the biblical text." I then have to convert it to..."Performing proper practical Bible teachings begins with having a solid grounding in the historical background of the book in which you are studying, the only proper control for those teachings is to know the original meaning of the text." But even that is not a true translation, my brain doesn't like work like this, it wants to think, to discover, to explore. it doesn't want to translate and teach, I guess you can say it's pretty selfish only absorbing information and not also giving out.

All and all though, God is in control of it and He is pleased with me not because of my performance but because I am a son. I know this in both my heart and mind, I just wish I could speak so that people would understand better. But at the same time I don't want to, I like the way I think. I just have to focus more on the way most people think, and not think so much on finding excellent Biblical concepts, but bring out foundational doctrine through practical teachings so that people can practically apply them. But we can go so much deeper, God help us in our stupidity, you created us, you know how slow we are, especially me who always overlooks the practical to delve into a complex theoretical concept that has no relevance other then enjoying a deep thought.

The randomness of my head...

I need to blog but about what? Hmmm… lets just start typing my thoughts.

I was just thinking about a quote from Robert Frost, it goes like "to be social is to be forgiving". And I thought I am very forgiving, or it's not that I'm more forgiving then others, I just take less offense to things because I am so detached by what others consider reality. But I'm not the most sociable of people, I love people in my heart, but they get on my brains nerves. It seems as though everyone holds so many sentiments, not that that is a bad thing, it's just that people hold so many. It bothers me that a friendship can alter someone’s view of situations and make them biased, it bothers me that people will make so many decisions because they are attached to an inanimate object. If something is not living what is there to be attached to? Do you make it alive by associating a memory to it? Isn't that like trying to be God? Maybe it’s because they love the world, I have moments of joy here but I do not love this place. People take everything here so seriously, but in the end the only thing matters is if you are saved or if you are not. So why do we add so many more complications to this insignificant and truncated life. Maybe we would have accomplished more when we lived to be 900 years old, maybe our brains went through a evolution some where in the course of those years back when we lived that long. Maybe they weren’t so limited in thinking by things like time, physics, and the flesh. This life is not an instant in eternity because eternity is never ending so time doesn’t exist, this life is merely a part of eternity a part that’s size is small yet doesn’t have a size because there are no measurements in infinity…

Ok I’m tired of typing now, and if I don’t stop this chain of thoughts they’ll take up the rest of my day.

Truth, Lies, and People...

I’ve always thought of the truth as complete balance of Good and Evil, when it comes to people. If I only knew good things about someone, I didn’t believe I knew the whole truth and if I knew only bad things about someone, it was the same. But I was just thinking that if everything good has been created by God and everything bad has been corrupted by satin, because he hasn’t made a thing, he just corrupts things, that would mean only good things about a person are really truth. Kind of like UGB(s)(Un Godly Beliefs) and lies believed about ones self and others, no one is inherently evil so then the evil is just a lie believed. It’s so hard for me to think this way though, my mind wants to work in justice mode, hence my name means judgment, justice, or judge, bringing liberation to the oppressed and judgment to the wicked. But the wicked are only stuck in lies and oppressed themselves, so by laying a finger on someone who is unjust I would only hurting a inherently good person who is believing lies and currently in a bad state. This sounds to much like Christian Science, I’ll have to Dwell on it more.

Yet another layout

Yes, I think this is my final layout, although I can't stand that #$$# Blogger toolbar... I don't know how to get it off. This layout seems to be much easier to read, the last one with Haku was just to hard to read the post and see pics. comment if you like this one.

Hi5 SoM

I joined this Hi5 network thing the other day, it said 13 people from my school were on so I decided to join also. I don't know what it is for or how to use it that easily yet but I got my first "testimonial" today, I was thinking that testimonial button was for me to write my testimony, hehe...

Elinor says: nice pic justin...well, well...let me write your first testimonial. justin will kill you at slight touch, provoke and do shockvalue to analyze you, will kill you in debates, and he's an awsome fun friend, with a passion for truth. there, not bad, eh? oh, and he loves canada, and the cold!

Thanx Elinor(my scandalous Scandinavian friend), you rock and I love you!!!

Your going into my mind...

(This is an excerpt from my School of the Heart Journal from like 2 years ago, I scribbled down my thoughts exactly the way I thought them.)
March 20th 2003
I was just taking a shower and the scripture about how God has created each of us unique in His own image and it brought up a association with my childhood thought that we were only unique in physical features. I was only about ten years old at the time so I was still quite naïve and my basis for that theory was created out of Marine Corps manuals that I had been reading. I saw how an army of individuals could be turned into a army of one, thinking, acting, and responding the same, with the proper training. I associated the training or boot camp of the army kind of like the sum of our life’s experience. There for if someone lived the exact same life as me, had every experience I had in the same way, they would be identical to my persona. But as I started to believe what others said about each being completely unique, although they did not have a factual basis for that belief.

So now I am faced again with this question of who we are. Are we simply made up of our likes and dislikes, our thoughts and the way we process them, our associations, our actions and reactions, our past history(which in it’s self creates all of those things, or lastly the sum of all of those things? But if we are any of those things then none of our personas are unique because we have the possibility, even though it is more remote then the Big Bang theory, of being exactly the same as someone else. Some argue that they can see differences in babies, but babies are receiving experiences even as fetus, so they to are not completely unique. So does God give us 10% of who we are and the rest is made up of life’s experiences? That would mean we are completely unique because the 10% of us would completely reflect our filters on our life’s experiences, there would be infinite possibilities on who we become. But I dismiss this because it is simply inefficient. So then I thought, what if God gave us a 100% unique persona? That would mean that our life’s experiences do not mold and shape who we are, they merely create beliefs within us on who we are and then we begin to live those beliefs, wither they be lies or the truth. There for not our life’s experience but our belief of our life’s experiences determines who we think we are and our likes and dislikes, our actions and reactions, etc… Yes, my mind is content with this answer, and I some how feel my heart knew this all along but I just haven’t contemplated it all the way through since I was ten. Lol, I’m always saying things along this line to others but never this thought directly.

(Writing that out of my journal just spawned a new thought, so I’m just gunna start typing as I think)

I’m thinking of destiny, how everyone says so many people die without reaching their destiny. For some reason I have never believed this, maybe because I have never contemplated the reasoning behind this. I believe that we are predestined, not the Calvinist form of it, to die at a certain time and place, having had the chance to accept Christ. Thos who did were predestined to be in Heaven and those who didn’t were predestined to hell, not because God chose that as their destiny but because they chose not to accept Him and He knew they would choose that before they were even born. So in this we retain our free will, and at the same time we are predestined. Because of this reasoning I can’t stand hearing people moan about how someone died at such a young age and how they could’ve done so much more in life. God knew when they were going to die, He gave them their chance to accept Him, they accomplished what He knew they would, so why are you moaning? My resentment here my lie in the fact that I do not believe death to be the ultimate evil, but a blessing for those who know God and the beginning of the curse of those who don’t. What does crying over it accomplish. Pray that we meet them soon if they are in heaven enjoying themselves or pray that some sort of mercy would be extended to them if they are in hell. Oh God please I beg you to have some pity on those poor beings, I don’t even have the faintest idea of how horrible a place it is, but I know that I wouldn’t even want someone who was to torture me to go there. Oh God, guide my hands so that I may save some from that place. Ok, I’m back, lol anytime I think of hell I get the shivers and want to pray for people… The predestined thing also goes along with my view that we are immortal and invincible while we walk on God’s path for us until we complete are mission for being here and then we die. I know I know, we all have some huge destiny and not all of us make it and some don’t even touch it before they die, I just like to disillusion my self about this because of my lack of drive to accomplish things anymore. I used to be driven by fear of authority and perfectionism, but now I am content to rest in Papa’s arms and not do what is to tough for me right now. But then shame and fear whisper in my ear that I’m not doing enough and I’m not fulfilling my destiny, but I say to them, “ who cares, as long as I’m in Papa’s arms and I’m helping people find Him it’s all good”. One day I know I’ll be able to face my destiny with the drive that I need, but I’m thinking I’ll have a lady along side me helping me out with it.

Yeah yeah I know that was a rather chaotic last bit, but hey that’s the way my mind works. Hehe…

ERGG!!!

I think I just broke the message board...

New Layout!!!!!!!!

So what do you guys think about my new layout? Only took me five str8 hours of work... Now My BLOG OWNS URS...^_^

Cheer Leaders DIE DIE DIE

Texas is trying to "tame down" cheer leading. MSN has the story. "It's just too sexually oriented, you know, the way they're shaking their behinds and going on, breaking it down," it's so funny hearing people speak politically correct about such things.

Personality Test

I found this email when I was looking for the definition of a word for the hate poster. It's from a personality test on MSN that I took along time ago. Yes yes peacemaker doesn't seem to fit, but after I thought about it just now, if you watch me closely, you can see it in me. Oh and I spelt that word wrong( it's Ecto-Mesomorphs), it had been like two years since I read it, I really should check my spelling more often. But I'm to lazy with my English, I just write on here and forget. If you were offended by my Flawless Women post, you probably didn't read the post looking at my intent in it, you merely looked at the shallow beginning when I was explaining the chick or the unintended pun. I enjoy writing like that so that people get into such an emotional state that they tend to disregard the intentions or conclusion that I intended. I love reading or hearing peoples reactions. I'm just kinda messed up to the point that I monitor my emotions and when I detect unwarrented lvls of activity going on with them I question what is the cause, drive, and result of the emotion, and is it valid. Wow that was a rabbit trail, hehe I do that when I'm tired. Here is the email....
\/

* Outgoing

* Peacemaker

* Balance work and play

* Focus on the possibilities in life

You're loved, and for good reasons
You're smart, insightful, and successful in your career. You have a talent for seeing beyond the details in life. So you have a vision for the future and always are searching to find love and a sense of "balance" in your life. You have a lot of good friends who enjoy your natural charm and funny stories. But you're not someone who "wears his heart on his sleeve" so even those closest to you don't always know how you feel. Still, your masculine and dependable nature will draw people who'll invest the time to get to know you.

Favorite Looks
You liked a group of women we call "Gems," because of their diamond or heart-shaped faces. Their pretty faces and light skin are usually framed by blonde, softly curled hair. With small, delicate features they convey an overall impression of femininity and sweetness that most men find appealing. About 1 in 5 men (21%) share your search for these gems.

Clear the runway! You also seem fascinated by women we call "Super Models." With somewhat square jaws and long, rectangular faces, combined with a serious expression, these women can often be intimidating. It's hard to keep your eyes off their strikingly full lips. Otherwise, they have well proportioned features, and lack the tiny noses and big eyes that make other women look more "cute" than beautiful. In fact, they have a mature and sophisticated look that's never "girlish." Very stylish, with perfect, under-stated makeup and hair, these women seem like they're modeling the latest look no matter where they are or what they're wearing. So, it should be easy for you (and the other 1 in 3 (30%) men who are fascinated by this type) to find her.

Favorite Face Type
Faces known scientifically as "Ecto-Mesomorphs" repeatedly caught your eye. Women express this type in two ways. One version has a rectangular face shape that is long and narrow. The other type's face shape is often compared to a diamond or a heart, because it is wide at the cheeks and then has a sharply angled jaw. Ecto-Mesomorph women have either delicate pointed chins or chins that are slightly squared-off or rounded at the base. This "classic" face type is one of the most idealized for women and can be found on most movie and music idols. These women also tend to have lean, but shapely, builds when they're young. About 57% of other men especially prefer women with this face type.

And a perfect example of Ecto-Mesomorph would be Keira Knightely, the only celeb besides Johnny Depp that I admire.


You can see the attributes in Keira of the Ecto-Mesomorph structure, smaller eyes(to keep away from the "girly look", the balanced nose, sharp angular jaw, and also the figure. No I am not actually as shallow as I sound, my analytical mind just likes analyzing things and the structure of human faces are tantalizingly interesting to me, but all you who know me already know that.