Wonderful yet sad day!

Today was so great yet so sad, great because I won the water war and sad because the wonderfully amazing Sarah Wagler has departed from Marmac and TACF. Most of the staff participated in our Union Office War thing and about 15 of us went for a going away lunch at the Mandarin for Sarah. Sorry Sarah, I didn’t get to say good bye, I got a little side tracked with hunting people down and eliminating them, I returned to Maramc around 4:25 to find you had left without giving me a hug! Miss ya already, sniff sniff.

The rulz were we could shoot anywhere besides the two main buildings excluding the sanctuary and that we were given one target a piece to begin with, once we killed the target we aquired their name badge 1 point and their target as our new target.

It was a long and tedious battle, ending with me as the sole survivor. My first kill came around 11:30 after one foiled plan coordinated with Sarah Wagler to ambush Sarah Dailey as she came to get something from Wagler, I finally capped Sarah with my short range water pistol in her back as she was running frantically trying to get away from me as I sped toward her (she said like a cheetah). The second kill came shortly after the first. I concealed my water gun in a hidden pocket within my caprees, placed my badge under my cardigan, and walked down to Maramc looking for my prey, he ended up not being their he was sitting in Sean’s car with the doors locked and the windows up. After much lying persuasion I got him to open the window about a half an inch, that was the last thing he did that day, I capped him in the back of the head through the crack of the window. I then received my next target Ben Pulson. Shortly before that I found out that Ben had me as his target which made the game a whole lot easier for me because he was stuck in the office. So I let Ben walk out the door to lunch before me and shot him in the back as I stepped out, which then I acquired myself as a target and kept it that way so I could have a peaceful lunch with out being paranoid of getting killed at the Mandarin. Following lunch I got a new gun, because mine broke during lunch, I acquired a new target, Martin – Café. He proved to be rather easy, tricking a man with a beautiful girl is rather dishonorable to me but all is fair in love and war. I had Sarah W. ask him to come out side and as he did I shot him in the back. After much waiting the game finally ended with a duel between Kimiko and I. I ended up with a salute from everyone and two movie tickets, also with an satisfied ego. And that was the fun part of the day.

Also: the outreach teams Denmark and England came back to day, they were greeted by a monotone recording done by Lee, Dan, Shawna, Jen, and I. It sounded really great and got really annoying after we repeated it about 100 times. “yeah…yeah…yeah…welcome back out reach teams…we are very pleased to see you.(monotone)

On the Curve

Last night Lee, Steve, Sarah W., Sarah D., Sarah N., Mel, Martin, and I went to the club called On the Club. Steve drove (English man who is used to the other side of the road). The was fun and relaxing, we talked, drank, ate nachos and wings, and played pool. Then packed into a grand am with 6 people (I had to lay across the people laps in the back seat).





Steve, Me, and Mel




All of our hot selves!




Mel and Sarah N. chowing down




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Full of Sushi

Dude! I feel so weird, well I was feeling great after going to an all-you-can-eat Sushi (I love sushi!) place for lunch with Blake, Sarah, and Mel, but then on the way back to work I was suddenly hit by a wall. Well not a real wall, but it was like a wall in my head. When I get home I'm going to a ton of responsibilities and I'll be Xtremely busy. I've been sitting up here in TO. with no responsibilities and only working like 25 hours a week while I count away the days with great anticipation. Yes, I'm still excited about going home but I still should enjoy being up here in TO. and try to get as much as possible out of being up here instead of seeing the days that go by as one less day till I go home.

Isolation vs. Consolidation

Before last night I saw everything with as isolated objects, feelings, thoughts, assumptions, moods, brain, heart, subconscious activities, and every entity with in those as isolated objects also. This way of thinking constantly created mass confusion in my head because there were too many objects affecting my awareness to keep track of. I saw everything as opposing forces if they had even the slightest difference in the direction in which they moved in. The only good thing about thinking this way was I had an excellent grip on what was going on in me and where all the affects on my awareness or conscious self were originating from (excluding the fact that its harder to understand yourself than it is to understand other people because of our own defense mechanisms and depending on issues of significance and security). Now I just take my awareness as more of a whole and only if something is affecting my awareness to the point of altering perceptions do I investigate where the affect is originating from. It always me to function with less friction, so I’m not thinking that theirs some massive battle between my conscious and subconscious. I don’t even really know why I think on these thing so much anymore, their more of old Yoga and Kung Fu teaching blending into my psychology classes. They are somewhat useless techniques I should problem just journal more, but in a left brain mood, which I am not currently in, they are fun to think about. Revisions to come later.

Sarah's B-day

Yesterday we went to the Green Mango for Sarah's Birthday and I found that I like Tai food, even though it smells like a wet dog. Also their iced coffee was great! I'm still not sure about that Bubble Tea stuff though. Then we hung out at Marmac and had some extremely fun truth or dare games(Sarcasim). Following that I slip further into my left hemisphere and restructured the way I process my internal awareness.




Starting from the right: Steave, Andrea, Dan, me, and Lee.





Starting from the left: Steave, Dan, me, Lee, Sarah Nickling, Sarah Wagler, Johanna, Sarah Dailey, Andrea, and Elinor.





Us at the Green Mango


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Wasaga Beach Trip!

Dan, Sarah W., Sarah D., Jen, and I went to Wasaga beach this weekend for some fun in the sun. Everything was great, the ride there was peaceful and the scenery was ok (well a little to many farms for my taste), we got free parking, and then I saw the water, it was a sickly puke brown color. Up until getting here everyone was telling me how wonderful Wasaga beach is so I thought to myself “these poor deprived Canadians don’t even know what a beautiful ocean beach with crystal clear water looks like, they have not even begun live life! The worst part was that their were multitudes of people on this wretched strip of sand, which they called a beach (beaches have blue water, people!). We found our little niche on the beach in no time at all, but then everyone wanted to go swimming so we went on a very long search for changing rooms, in which I had an funny time changing because their was a women in the next stall in the men’s wash room. Once we were all finished changing we found a new spot on the beach that had less people so we decided to claim it. Then Sarah W decided she could beat me racing into the water, I don’t know what she was thinking, Hello! I used to be a life guard. After I severely beat Sarah W out into the water, I began feel the symptoms of severe hypothermia and I began passing out from the frigidly cold ugly brown Canadian lake water, well not really I got really cold so I went back to shore. When I got back to shore and began thawing out I saw some poor underprivileged Canadian dude trying to para-surf in the frigid ugly brown Canadian lake water with no surf and barely any wind. Sarah W and I then went searching for an inter tube to buy, but in the end for some reason even though we saw lots for cheap we never bought one. When we got back to our little niche on the beach we found a game of cricket going on right in front of us and some crazy Indian men screaming ali ali ali and running around hitting a tennis ball, oh yeah they also indirectly threatened Dan with the tennis ball. In the middle of our tanning session we remembered our free parking ticket was about to expire, so we made our way back to the car to go to yet another of these fresh water Canadian beaches. At the next beach we went to the girl decided that they could match Dan and I at some weird form of soccer with out goals, after a some time of playing the girls noticed that they hadn’t gotten the ball once and how superior Dan and I were to them so they began groveling on the floor begging us to impart to them the ways of playing the weird form of soccer, well not exactly like that but close. After that everyone, for reasons I have still to figure out, wanted to go back into the frigidly cold ugly brown Canadian lake water, which they did and a giant mud fight ensued with Dan again showing his superiority over the girls. When they finally made it back to shore the girls were in bad shape and Sarah W was complaining about some form a Brown Vision (a condition of the eyes when to much mud enters, you begin seeing everything with a brown tin) she said it was the mud but I think the water also had something to do with it. When the girls were done recovering they went back to the car to change leaving me and Dan in Sevier throws of boredom. Then it was Dan and I’s turn to change but just as we were going to change all of these moms started walking buy, changing in front of girls that’s nothing but MOMs! After all of the changing and nakedness someone had the bright idea of going to Taco Bell and manipulated all of us into thinking that we were hungry.

As we entered the Taco Bell, which had some of the worst landscaping I’ve ever seen, we could feel the sticky spilled coke residue sticking to the bottoms of our sandals as we walked to the end of a very long line up. The people in the line were mostly young wannabie beach bums and for the most part quietly waiting for their terribly unhealthy fast food which we soon found was not very fast. Myself and everyone else except for Dan was broke so Sarah was forced to pay for us all. As Sarah and I approached the clerk behind the desk he asked us in a quite half slurred half mumbled “what would you like?” We wanted a personal pan pizza and cinnamon sticks, neither of which they had. We somehow squeezed our way into getting a $6 medium pizza, even though (much to their surprise) Sarah D. and Jen had to pay $18 for the same thing (work that one out). Then the waiting began and in the end all the girls legs became so weak after waiting for the hours it took to get the food they had to sit down, so Dan and I braved the waiting and brought the food to them. But when Sarah opened her pizza box and found a degradation, there were no pineapples on her pizza! Then Sarah came up with a diabolical plot to manipulate the pizza guys to give her the money back. Dan had similar problems when he opened up his tacos they were all half full! In the end Sarah got her money back and Dan ended up with nothing. Girls kick ass (Sarah put that in) While this was all going on I asked Sarah for the keys so I could go get some stuff our of the car. A minute later I came back in and casually mentioned that we had a slight dilemma because the keys were now in the trunk and the trunk was closed and the door all locked. Ya see I had tried to unlock all the door by pressing the unlock button but I had actually pressed the lock button then I opened the trunk and stuff started falling so when I went to grab the stuff I also grabbed hold of the trunk to balance myself and it closed. Sarah W. then ran to the payphone and called 911 then hung up on them and called a tow truck which we were informed would be their in ten minutes. (she'd like me to insert here that she only called 911 because we didn't have any other numbers and the local police page from the phone book was half torn out, not because she is a hopeless female.) Then we realized that we would have to pay the dude to open the trunk, so Sarah and I went to go get money out of an ATM, which took forever and a day because she forgot her pin twice then we found out there was no more money in the ATMs and had to find another one. While we were away a female cop showed up who thought she would show how much of a badass she was by yelling at Dan, Jen, and Sarah about how she would take them down to the station and give them all spankings for calling 911 when there wasn't a real emergency. When she left the tow truck dude showed up and got the lock opened in like 2 seconds after Dan had been trying forever to get the door open with a coat hanger. Forty dollars later, everyone had a heart attack when they couldn’t find the keys in the trunk but eventually I found them at the bottom of my bag. Then we got lost on the way back, ended up in Orangeville somehow and shared all of our dreams for the future with each other. I think we bonded.


This is the beach I go to the most at home(This is a beach)!
Wasaga in no beach!

Long hard day of work

I'm sitting here relaxing in the lovely Marmac computer room after a long hard day of work that consisted of things like soaking, prophecy, and eating at the expense of my employers(I do that everyday). I just finished listening to my prophetic tape recording, it was pretty much my usual prophetic stuff, you have lots of the Holy Spirit and their is room for lots more, place your calling in the center of your heart, bring more balance into your life/ministry, and that their is so much inside of me that I refuse to let out but it needs to come out.

I think the first prophecy, about the Holy Spirit, is what everyone gets, cauz everyone can be filled with the Holy Spirit, nothing special in the sense of uniqueness there. The second one got me a little aprehensive about going home because she said that I need to place my ministry in the center of my heart so that it is a priority, which it is now but what she said made me feel as if there will be lots of distractions ,which is very likely because my bussiness will take up alot of time and I have alot of bussiness lined up add that to friends that love to do something everyday and every night = lots of distraction. Another thing that was said about me placeing my calling and ministry in the center of my heart is fruit coming out of that in the form of intimacy with God. The balancing thing is my interpretation of what the chic said about me holding a long table from one end only, like one of those folding tables in Marmac, and that it was heavy and I held it but it was a strain, but then she saw me move to the middle of the table and hold it their and it was easy, she also said she didn't know what it meant. I took it as that fact that I need more balance in my life/ministry because I tend to be super strong in some areas and those I jump into and then weak in others and those I stray away from. The last thing said was about a bag and a person being locked up in their screaming ot get out. That is so me! When I was younger I was very eccentric and talkative, but over the years I began to observe that it's not always so good to stand out or to be different so I conformed myself as bested I could to society and culture around me, which only just in the past 7 months I've been undoing and I think I'm about to the point of being me, cauz I'm not all that wierd and different(just a lil). I also developed this stupid thing of not speaking to people unless spoken to or formally introduced. The main part of me that this prophecy spoke to though is my passion, or lack of. Using my left brain ways of thinking long ago I concluded that passion was a weakness as well as was hope(I had been let down to many times). Because if you have extreme amounts of passion or hope then if you fail or what you were hoping in doesn't come about your left with crushed dreams, where as if you have little passion or hope then when things down come about you can move on to something else or try again as effeciently as possible. Well my hearts been telling me that this doesn't work (that you'll eventually break down). So over hte past year I've been daring myself to pick up passions, dreams, and hopes. But I've been doing so in a cautions way, guarding my heart every step of the way (which is not a bad thing when done in balance). Another aspect of that is my melancholy like behavior, which has been slow at dying. This behavior, the monatone voice, the lack of complements to others, etc...

one thing I was glad about these prophecies was that they didn't mention me playing music, starting culture based churches around the world, or working with many young adults. Probably about the last ten times I've had prophecies its been about those three things, so this was a nicer break but also kind of the usual.

hmmm... this is a rather personal entry into my blog... I started this at a suggestion from someone to blog about my prophecies... ah its good for me to be personal I guess. I hope I didn't bore anyone to much.

Mohawks, Tattoos, and Piercings

Since coming to the schools of ministry I've gotten a tattoo, had a mohawk, and have added two more piercings to my ears. That would be a great testimonial for the SBS or Heart module brochers, those Sothern Baptist would love it!



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Winter Collections out.

The winter collections our now being shown on most designers web sites, not like I can afford them right now though. I'm liken this turtle neck under your suit thing that I'm seeing.

  


I need white pants, I've been on this white kick fo eva now! white belt, white watch(which I have still not found for under $400), white sandals, and um I wanna white zip up! Burberry has some kool stuff that I might look into when I get home and actually make money.

  
ya can't see the pants all that great thought!

The Suits... Oh the suits!

    
The only thing I don't like about Gucci is that they didn't cut their suits higher like everyone else this year, but their suits are still terrific.


In case anyone was wondering why I dedicated a post to fashion, its because I haven't had anyone to talk to about it in a while so I had to get my cravings out!

God is an awesome yet mysterious Dude!

Oiu... I was having this convo wit God 2day and He is just like so freaking mysterious! It started off wit me saying "Dude God what am I going to be doing when I get home or what do U want me doing" then He was like leaving it up to me what I want to do, the only prob is I have no clue what I friggan want to do!!! I mean I know what I want to do but I don't know what I really really want to do. I'm going to end up doing something that I love I know that I would never alway myself to get into something I don't want to be doing, but I can't stand being so flip floppy. One day I want to be a fashion designer, the next travel doing comp work for peeps, then its have a stable bussiness in Miami. Then its like should I go back to uni or should I just do tech or nothing.! ahhahhahaha the lol. never mind God just spoke when I get home a door will open and things will click for me, lol He always does that.

Everything under the sun is meaningless

I'm sitting here at my desk listening to Ecclesiastes on Dave's Music. It's probably my favorite book of the Bible. It just shows you how meanless everything under the sun is without God. Ecclesiastes is very similar to alot of the thoughts in my head. Everyone scurring around doing all that they can before they die, and everything they do will just be forgotten in a short time. LoL...how do people live with out God, where do they get their significance and selfworth? There is no grand design, no greater purpose besides bettering mankind, and how many can say they have achieved that?


Man is eminently a storyteller. His search for a purpose, a cause, an ideal, a mission and the like is largely a search for a plot and a pattern in the development of his life story - a story that is basically without meaning or pattern.
Eric Hoffer

lol, I have the most morbid and bland blog out there, or maybe I was just listening to Ecc. to long.

Days Go By And Still I'm Here

Wow, Isn't that a song title, well thats what I feel like right now. I feel as though I'm not accomplishing for the greater good, I feel that I'm just stuck in the circles of life. Even when I leave here and go home I'll still be stuck in circles; work, ministry, play, and then repeat. I will be doing things for a greater purpose so that might lift up my sense of signifigance some but the cirlces are still there. I have thought and thought about this over and over and I can't see a way out of them. We are all bound by these mindless circles of insignifigant chores which bring neither human advancement or any sense of a greater cause besides that of religion. And then they say and what of happiness and joy, to those I say they are only temporary emotions we can't live only for happiness and joy, that would inevitably lead toward immoratlity and greed. Yes God is the greatest cause in which we live for, but He has not shown me my destiny with Him yet, here on earth that is, I know my ultimate destiny. I'm still sitting here confused...oh the monotony of life.

King Author

I finally got around to seeing King Author, of course only for Keira Knightley my most favorite actress! The movie was alright, there was some cool parts. The Samarian Knights were pretty kool dudes but my favorite one of them died at the end and I never found out his name... oh well. Keira kicked some major ass at the end of the movie. I gotta find a girl like that... hmm maybe I'll start taking fencing or Kung Fu when I get home and meet someone. lol.

Isn't she a hottie!

Dude! (Writing of my Boredom part 3)

As he stepped out of the narrow dark alley into the dim light of the old overhead street lamps he discreetly scanned both sides of the street without turning his head. Seeing only two ancient looking homeless men, garbed in... he didn't even want to think about it, he began walking up the garbage litterd sidewalk. He started thinking that something might have happend to his transport when he saw the halogen lights of a black BMW round the corner a block in front of him,"finally" he thought. As the BMW came nearer to him, "why his brights were still on" he also wonderd. When the car stopped besides him he reached for the handle, his eyes partly blinded from the headlights, the door opened. Everything began happening in slow motion, he saw the trigger being suppressed by a gloved finger, the slide of the gun flowing back and forth in one graceful movement followed by a loud pop and a flash. He felt a cold shooting pain going through his jaw, then his neck, the earth was speeding towards him, as his face impacted the concrete he saw the spent cartridges bouncing off the sidewalk next to him, he tried to touch his face with his hand, wondering why he felt no pain, his hand took an eternity to reach his face, it encounter warm blood. Why don't I feel any pain he thought as he began fading from counsiousness. the last thing he saw was the smoke of tires and the sound of screaching tires. A few years he tried to chuckle, but it came from his disfigured mouth as an uninterpretable gurlgling sound.

ok... well the spy dude didn't last htat long. Next story

My Spy Dude(Writings of My Boredom part 2)

The masked killer stepped out of the shadow of the door into the eerie light, cast by a yellow bulb hanging from the cracked ceiling of the hallway, placing his shadow over the lifeless corps lying in a pool of blood on the floor. As he crossed the small featureless room to the open window that he had entered through he suddenly began feeling remorseful for the man who had woken up a millisecond before he died. By the time he was silently stepping off the old New York fire escape outside the room of his latest execution, only two minutes had pasted from his time of insertion. I’ll probably end up the same way in a few years, he chuckled to himself as he casually walked into a dark alley near the fire escape.

lol...the things I think of when I'm bored

Linear thoughts on non-linear plane

I keep pondering on wither we limit our human evolution to too little of paths for the future because of our adherence to no make the same mistakes over. Have people like Winston Churchill, who was adamant if we do not know history we will make the same mistakes over and over, brain washed us. But what if we stop applying the linear element of time to our actions and only apply formulas(see history as a string of formulas instead of a linear plane though time, if you have to identical formulas and change one digit on one of the formulas the entire formula has changed, so if in our actions something looks similar to the past it has a strong possibility of not having the same result. Where would we be right now if we weren’t controlled by our fears of the past (isn’t that like an animal), how much farther advanced would our civilization and society be?

Writing of my Bordom

He awoke with fear! Sweat dripping off his fore head as he climbed out of bed. His adrenaline pulsing through his body. He couldn't think, what had awoken him, his instincts screamed danger. BOOM a gunshot pierced the night air like thunder in the mist of the clear. He saw him self falling to the ground in slow motion, he tasted warm blood in his mouth but yet he felt no pain, it was like a dream, but yet it was so real. The room began to swirl around him as everything went black.