Bible study and CNN my friend.

I'm doing some work on my computer and listening to CNN in the back ground, Bush is speaking about his new energy plan. The plan sounds excellent, for years I've been saying we should use our own energy sources more then foreign energy, and this plan is going to do just that. He is also talking about faster advancements in technology, yes God yes, more tech stuff, hehe.

What I was really going to post about though is Tuesday night Bible studies, specifically my thoughts and emotions on it. Three years ago I would have never started Bible study let alone lead it, I don't believe so much from fear but from lack of desire and passion. Now I have started a Bible study but I seem to be lacking something. Probably a medium of hermeneutics, a way to explain my concepts in laymen's form. I also have difficulty teaching more in-depth concepts because of how much faster my thoughts move then my speech, so I end up stuttering and then skipping over half of my teaching because my brain already past it up and I've gotten off focus because I have to translate my thoughts into laymen's terms. So I something like "Proper hermeneutics begins with solid exegesis, the only proper control for hermeneutics is to be found in the original intent of the biblical text." I then have to convert it to..."Performing proper practical Bible teachings begins with having a solid grounding in the historical background of the book in which you are studying, the only proper control for those teachings is to know the original meaning of the text." But even that is not a true translation, my brain doesn't like work like this, it wants to think, to discover, to explore. it doesn't want to translate and teach, I guess you can say it's pretty selfish only absorbing information and not also giving out.

All and all though, God is in control of it and He is pleased with me not because of my performance but because I am a son. I know this in both my heart and mind, I just wish I could speak so that people would understand better. But at the same time I don't want to, I like the way I think. I just have to focus more on the way most people think, and not think so much on finding excellent Biblical concepts, but bring out foundational doctrine through practical teachings so that people can practically apply them. But we can go so much deeper, God help us in our stupidity, you created us, you know how slow we are, especially me who always overlooks the practical to delve into a complex theoretical concept that has no relevance other then enjoying a deep thought.

The randomness of my head...

I need to blog but about what? Hmmm… lets just start typing my thoughts.

I was just thinking about a quote from Robert Frost, it goes like "to be social is to be forgiving". And I thought I am very forgiving, or it's not that I'm more forgiving then others, I just take less offense to things because I am so detached by what others consider reality. But I'm not the most sociable of people, I love people in my heart, but they get on my brains nerves. It seems as though everyone holds so many sentiments, not that that is a bad thing, it's just that people hold so many. It bothers me that a friendship can alter someone’s view of situations and make them biased, it bothers me that people will make so many decisions because they are attached to an inanimate object. If something is not living what is there to be attached to? Do you make it alive by associating a memory to it? Isn't that like trying to be God? Maybe it’s because they love the world, I have moments of joy here but I do not love this place. People take everything here so seriously, but in the end the only thing matters is if you are saved or if you are not. So why do we add so many more complications to this insignificant and truncated life. Maybe we would have accomplished more when we lived to be 900 years old, maybe our brains went through a evolution some where in the course of those years back when we lived that long. Maybe they weren’t so limited in thinking by things like time, physics, and the flesh. This life is not an instant in eternity because eternity is never ending so time doesn’t exist, this life is merely a part of eternity a part that’s size is small yet doesn’t have a size because there are no measurements in infinity…

Ok I’m tired of typing now, and if I don’t stop this chain of thoughts they’ll take up the rest of my day.

Truth, Lies, and People...

I’ve always thought of the truth as complete balance of Good and Evil, when it comes to people. If I only knew good things about someone, I didn’t believe I knew the whole truth and if I knew only bad things about someone, it was the same. But I was just thinking that if everything good has been created by God and everything bad has been corrupted by satin, because he hasn’t made a thing, he just corrupts things, that would mean only good things about a person are really truth. Kind of like UGB(s)(Un Godly Beliefs) and lies believed about ones self and others, no one is inherently evil so then the evil is just a lie believed. It’s so hard for me to think this way though, my mind wants to work in justice mode, hence my name means judgment, justice, or judge, bringing liberation to the oppressed and judgment to the wicked. But the wicked are only stuck in lies and oppressed themselves, so by laying a finger on someone who is unjust I would only hurting a inherently good person who is believing lies and currently in a bad state. This sounds to much like Christian Science, I’ll have to Dwell on it more.

Yet another layout

Yes, I think this is my final layout, although I can't stand that #$$# Blogger toolbar... I don't know how to get it off. This layout seems to be much easier to read, the last one with Haku was just to hard to read the post and see pics. comment if you like this one.

Hi5 SoM

I joined this Hi5 network thing the other day, it said 13 people from my school were on so I decided to join also. I don't know what it is for or how to use it that easily yet but I got my first "testimonial" today, I was thinking that testimonial button was for me to write my testimony, hehe...

Elinor says: nice pic justin...well, well...let me write your first testimonial. justin will kill you at slight touch, provoke and do shockvalue to analyze you, will kill you in debates, and he's an awsome fun friend, with a passion for truth. there, not bad, eh? oh, and he loves canada, and the cold!

Thanx Elinor(my scandalous Scandinavian friend), you rock and I love you!!!

Your going into my mind...

(This is an excerpt from my School of the Heart Journal from like 2 years ago, I scribbled down my thoughts exactly the way I thought them.)
March 20th 2003
I was just taking a shower and the scripture about how God has created each of us unique in His own image and it brought up a association with my childhood thought that we were only unique in physical features. I was only about ten years old at the time so I was still quite naïve and my basis for that theory was created out of Marine Corps manuals that I had been reading. I saw how an army of individuals could be turned into a army of one, thinking, acting, and responding the same, with the proper training. I associated the training or boot camp of the army kind of like the sum of our life’s experience. There for if someone lived the exact same life as me, had every experience I had in the same way, they would be identical to my persona. But as I started to believe what others said about each being completely unique, although they did not have a factual basis for that belief.

So now I am faced again with this question of who we are. Are we simply made up of our likes and dislikes, our thoughts and the way we process them, our associations, our actions and reactions, our past history(which in it’s self creates all of those things, or lastly the sum of all of those things? But if we are any of those things then none of our personas are unique because we have the possibility, even though it is more remote then the Big Bang theory, of being exactly the same as someone else. Some argue that they can see differences in babies, but babies are receiving experiences even as fetus, so they to are not completely unique. So does God give us 10% of who we are and the rest is made up of life’s experiences? That would mean we are completely unique because the 10% of us would completely reflect our filters on our life’s experiences, there would be infinite possibilities on who we become. But I dismiss this because it is simply inefficient. So then I thought, what if God gave us a 100% unique persona? That would mean that our life’s experiences do not mold and shape who we are, they merely create beliefs within us on who we are and then we begin to live those beliefs, wither they be lies or the truth. There for not our life’s experience but our belief of our life’s experiences determines who we think we are and our likes and dislikes, our actions and reactions, etc… Yes, my mind is content with this answer, and I some how feel my heart knew this all along but I just haven’t contemplated it all the way through since I was ten. Lol, I’m always saying things along this line to others but never this thought directly.

(Writing that out of my journal just spawned a new thought, so I’m just gunna start typing as I think)

I’m thinking of destiny, how everyone says so many people die without reaching their destiny. For some reason I have never believed this, maybe because I have never contemplated the reasoning behind this. I believe that we are predestined, not the Calvinist form of it, to die at a certain time and place, having had the chance to accept Christ. Thos who did were predestined to be in Heaven and those who didn’t were predestined to hell, not because God chose that as their destiny but because they chose not to accept Him and He knew they would choose that before they were even born. So in this we retain our free will, and at the same time we are predestined. Because of this reasoning I can’t stand hearing people moan about how someone died at such a young age and how they could’ve done so much more in life. God knew when they were going to die, He gave them their chance to accept Him, they accomplished what He knew they would, so why are you moaning? My resentment here my lie in the fact that I do not believe death to be the ultimate evil, but a blessing for those who know God and the beginning of the curse of those who don’t. What does crying over it accomplish. Pray that we meet them soon if they are in heaven enjoying themselves or pray that some sort of mercy would be extended to them if they are in hell. Oh God please I beg you to have some pity on those poor beings, I don’t even have the faintest idea of how horrible a place it is, but I know that I wouldn’t even want someone who was to torture me to go there. Oh God, guide my hands so that I may save some from that place. Ok, I’m back, lol anytime I think of hell I get the shivers and want to pray for people… The predestined thing also goes along with my view that we are immortal and invincible while we walk on God’s path for us until we complete are mission for being here and then we die. I know I know, we all have some huge destiny and not all of us make it and some don’t even touch it before they die, I just like to disillusion my self about this because of my lack of drive to accomplish things anymore. I used to be driven by fear of authority and perfectionism, but now I am content to rest in Papa’s arms and not do what is to tough for me right now. But then shame and fear whisper in my ear that I’m not doing enough and I’m not fulfilling my destiny, but I say to them, “ who cares, as long as I’m in Papa’s arms and I’m helping people find Him it’s all good”. One day I know I’ll be able to face my destiny with the drive that I need, but I’m thinking I’ll have a lady along side me helping me out with it.

Yeah yeah I know that was a rather chaotic last bit, but hey that’s the way my mind works. Hehe…

ERGG!!!

I think I just broke the message board...

New Layout!!!!!!!!

So what do you guys think about my new layout? Only took me five str8 hours of work... Now My BLOG OWNS URS...^_^

Cheer Leaders DIE DIE DIE

Texas is trying to "tame down" cheer leading. MSN has the story. "It's just too sexually oriented, you know, the way they're shaking their behinds and going on, breaking it down," it's so funny hearing people speak politically correct about such things.

Personality Test

I found this email when I was looking for the definition of a word for the hate poster. It's from a personality test on MSN that I took along time ago. Yes yes peacemaker doesn't seem to fit, but after I thought about it just now, if you watch me closely, you can see it in me. Oh and I spelt that word wrong( it's Ecto-Mesomorphs), it had been like two years since I read it, I really should check my spelling more often. But I'm to lazy with my English, I just write on here and forget. If you were offended by my Flawless Women post, you probably didn't read the post looking at my intent in it, you merely looked at the shallow beginning when I was explaining the chick or the unintended pun. I enjoy writing like that so that people get into such an emotional state that they tend to disregard the intentions or conclusion that I intended. I love reading or hearing peoples reactions. I'm just kinda messed up to the point that I monitor my emotions and when I detect unwarrented lvls of activity going on with them I question what is the cause, drive, and result of the emotion, and is it valid. Wow that was a rabbit trail, hehe I do that when I'm tired. Here is the email....
\/

* Outgoing

* Peacemaker

* Balance work and play

* Focus on the possibilities in life

You're loved, and for good reasons
You're smart, insightful, and successful in your career. You have a talent for seeing beyond the details in life. So you have a vision for the future and always are searching to find love and a sense of "balance" in your life. You have a lot of good friends who enjoy your natural charm and funny stories. But you're not someone who "wears his heart on his sleeve" so even those closest to you don't always know how you feel. Still, your masculine and dependable nature will draw people who'll invest the time to get to know you.

Favorite Looks
You liked a group of women we call "Gems," because of their diamond or heart-shaped faces. Their pretty faces and light skin are usually framed by blonde, softly curled hair. With small, delicate features they convey an overall impression of femininity and sweetness that most men find appealing. About 1 in 5 men (21%) share your search for these gems.

Clear the runway! You also seem fascinated by women we call "Super Models." With somewhat square jaws and long, rectangular faces, combined with a serious expression, these women can often be intimidating. It's hard to keep your eyes off their strikingly full lips. Otherwise, they have well proportioned features, and lack the tiny noses and big eyes that make other women look more "cute" than beautiful. In fact, they have a mature and sophisticated look that's never "girlish." Very stylish, with perfect, under-stated makeup and hair, these women seem like they're modeling the latest look no matter where they are or what they're wearing. So, it should be easy for you (and the other 1 in 3 (30%) men who are fascinated by this type) to find her.

Favorite Face Type
Faces known scientifically as "Ecto-Mesomorphs" repeatedly caught your eye. Women express this type in two ways. One version has a rectangular face shape that is long and narrow. The other type's face shape is often compared to a diamond or a heart, because it is wide at the cheeks and then has a sharply angled jaw. Ecto-Mesomorph women have either delicate pointed chins or chins that are slightly squared-off or rounded at the base. This "classic" face type is one of the most idealized for women and can be found on most movie and music idols. These women also tend to have lean, but shapely, builds when they're young. About 57% of other men especially prefer women with this face type.

And a perfect example of Ecto-Mesomorph would be Keira Knightely, the only celeb besides Johnny Depp that I admire.


You can see the attributes in Keira of the Ecto-Mesomorph structure, smaller eyes(to keep away from the "girly look", the balanced nose, sharp angular jaw, and also the figure. No I am not actually as shallow as I sound, my analytical mind just likes analyzing things and the structure of human faces are tantalizingly interesting to me, but all you who know me already know that.

Back from the TO

Well I'm back from Toronto, I'll post about the trip 2morrow, it is like way to late right now for me to even think str8.

Oh you guys might have noticed the rather crude and negative commenter, would you all please give them a big hug for me. I think they had some absence of love in their life.

Naruto

I'm gunna miss the 127-128th episode of Naruto, while we're in Toronto^o^ nooooooooooooo.... lol I'll put up a nice big post about the trip when I get back

My name and I

“Read them 1 Peter 2;13 and Romans 13:1!” – Justice “Why should I, not like the unjust would listen to me” –Myself “Those words aren’t for the unjust but for the just, the only words I have for the unjust are reading them my judgment of their lives after I rip out their throats” – Justice “I have also committed injustices, you would also rip out my throat? Do you have no compassion, no forgiveness?” - Myself “That is why I wear a blinder, so that I will not be inhibited by emotional attachments. Have you not seen my statue, I judge with an unbiased mind.” – Justice “But you must be biased because every society has a different form and view of justice” – Myself “But do societies have the right to judge each other by their own view of what is just?” – Justice “I see, you are complete logic” – Myself “Unlike you who is cursed with compassion” – Justice “You see it has a human emotion, I see it as understanding. By understanding why someone did something have I not shown them compassion?” – Myself “So it’s a completely inert emotion for you? Only to help you understand?” – Justice “No I can carryout helping people feel compassion, but most are in denial and it is their choice alone that will free them.” – Myself “Do I hear an injustice?” –Justice “Yes, I’m a hypocrite, I hurt people, I have committed many injustices, so does that not make me normal?” – Myself “Justice does not waver, not even for you who thinks so highly of us, Justin.” –Justice “Tell that to my Father” –Myself

Bombastic Love...It's a good song...

I'm sure you all were eagerly anticipating my story about how my fingers were sliced, sorry to disapoint u, I didn't really make it funny. I'll retype it later when I get pictures.

We had a youth lockin on Friday night, omg it wore me out. We did games till like 4 in teh morning. Like a mine field we had to crawl under, a rope we had to repel across the church lake with, boat races in the lake, donut eating, rope climbing, and climbing over walls. It was so fun and I really think it brought the youth group together alot more. I got to know alot more of the teens. Me and Jose were the two team captains, we had about 20 people in each of our teams, only about 40 people showed for teh lockin:( . MY TEAM DOMINATED, GO WEST COAST BEACHED WHALES!!! oh, I did not pick our team name... NATHANIEL!!! WE won all the events exept the donut eating thing because one of our members was a lil to short to reach the donut. Being team captain was fun, I became very focused on keeping my team together, making everyone participate, and making sure everyone was having fun. Although sometimes I did get a little competative with the other team. Our first event was the rope climb, which Jose's team got the right idea with first(help the girls up by boosting them)the guys had all wanted to show off and climb up, but they soon learned and everyone began thinking of everyone elses strenghs and weakness then putting that into a plan. The only thing bad about that one was that I didn't use gloves so I got bad rope burn. So when we got to the wall all the girls were already in the front waiting for the guys to boost them then the guys went over. Then in the mine field the girls really pulled ahead of the guys because they were more slender, they could fit under the ropes easily. We then moved on to the donut eating contest, Kevin had told me to pick out a boy and a girl before he even told us what we were doing next, I had thought it was the repeling over the water so I picked athletic people(who were not so good at eating donuts. We lost that one but everyone celebrated our team mates after it was over. The next was the repeling over the water, which I was mortally wounded on. No not really, my team went first so I had Kevin do it first to show everyone else how it was done. He shot off a little to earlier and I still had a yard line wrapped around my fingers and tied to him, so it ended up cutting me almost to the bone, but I didn't notice until after I had jumped into the water to catch the rope, then I was taken out of service for a little while. while they figured otu that it was gunna work then I went home took a shower and slept till I had to go back and win the boat race thing with my team.

Ropes are gay...

I can't really type to well right now cauz my fingers on my left hand are just about sliced to the bone froma rope. I'll explain 2morrow.

Gravitation Zwei!

I've been so freaking busy, 40 hours a week of work, church, developing 2 web sites, working on the REEL logo, and some how finding a little free time for myself is exausting. This week has been the busiest in a while. But I should finish up all the computer projects by the end of the week, then I can start on my fire academy training( yeah I get to gain weight and get some muscle!!) It's so sad that the only way I gain weight is by working out. I'm also going to start studying my medical terminology and paramedic books so taht I'm prepared when I start skool.

On another note, I've been tuning my spiritual sensitivity lately, I had been neglecting it for a long time. When I was younger I used to see things that scared me, that was why I was afraid of the dark. In darkness or when my eyes are closed is when I can really jump into the other realm. I've been finding that my sensitivity is not based on what I am around or what I'm doing, it's more so based on what's going on inside of me. Which is not as affected by external things as people say it is. Lately I've been looking at my disernment kinda like a six sense and have been applying as one(all the time, just like you're always using ur 5 senses.

I love rainy days...

It's been raining for the past two days and probably will continue till the weekend. I think the rain and the dull gray skies it brings is wonderful, I get so tired of the the sunshine and blue skies sometimes. Plus it matches the grays, whites, and blacks in my room. We've been working in a pent house on Hallendale Beach in the Three Islands, so the view from there is spectacular, besides all the white canadians on the beach. It's so relaxing to just sit back listening to my hard trance pumping out of my subwoofer and watch the rain create a lake in my back yard. I'm listening to Overdoes(Tony H Remix) by DJ Tomcraft, good stuff.

The flawless women?

Today while entering StarBux with Jeff I saw a chick who was just about perfect in physical features. She had high well defined cheek bones, beautiful hazel eyes that even women could get lost in, wonderfully smooth skin that was slightly tanned, perfectly flat ironed thick brown hair with a nice sheen and highlights, a well formed chin, perfectly shaped hair line, well balanced eye brows, proportioned brow line and bridge, a cute button nose, sharp jaw lines, a ectomorpheses shaped face(diamond shaped), petite neck and wonderfully shaped collar bones. She also had a perfect figure, bust, waist, buttocks, shoulders, and legs were all balanced and nicely curved. When I was done analyzing the brief glimpse I had of her(about 5 seconds total) I was shocked to realize that for the first time I had completely picked a person apart and had found no physical flaws in them. This coming from the guy who looks at magazines and criticizes the flaws in super models. I don’t do this because I think I am the most perfect person in the world, it’s more like just a habit and grudge against the system which states that super models are perfect in features(which they are not, so many of them have the same flaws we all have). It just bugs me when people say, oh this person is superior because they are a super model or they can act. But anywayz another topic for another time. After that came the usual self condemnation for being so shallow with my habit. Then I began to think, if I ever would/could date someone like that what would my actions and thoughts be like towards them. Would I be a hypocrite and think them superior to myself and everyone else, or would I become insecure about my own image in sight of their state of imperfect perfection? And the rest is just circles within circles within my head… But the answer is no, I do not believe that my security nor my viewpoints on human equality would suffer from dating a almost perfect looking chick, but I can not say for certain because I have never dated anyone like that. No pun intended to former girl friends… what is perfect anywayz, does the shape of ones jaw affect your status in human equality? I think not, although Aristotle did say that “Beauty is greater then any letter of recommendation(college degrees, certificates, etc…)”. But I think that that is only true to people who do not truly see, this world we see with our physical eyes is only a fraction of the size of the real world, the world that exist in our hearts, minds, and most importantly in the spirit. Why am I blabbering on about things everyone knows…I’m tired… good night…

Ps... all views were strictly from a physical aspect, she could've been a horrible person for all I know, but I did not bother to desern that, I wanted my Toffe Nut latte!

The painters with a lisp

I don't really know how to spell lisp, so I'm just gunna spell it lisp for now. I don't really feel like capitalizing stuff either, well besides I's. so anywayz, today at work all of us were speaking with a nice gay sounding lisp. it was hilarious, the people inside the place we were painting were prob like "omg what fagot painters" hehe. The guy from NY(the new guy painting with us) started doing it, then Brian, then me. by the end of the day we were all like "omg you do such beautiful painting hunny" "omg I like saw these shoes today and they were like so cute" hehe it made time go by faster. But we probably freaked out all the waiters and hostesses in AppleBees(we were painting the exterior). I wonder what gay frazes 2morrow will hold...

Busy Weekend Fun...

This last weeked was fun, but oh so busy... between going to the beach, youth group, watching anime, going to Tate's , hanging out at kevin's house playing pool, seeing Constantine(Which was a great movie BTW), going to church, and young adults. lol, that was all stuff I did on Sunday, well except for the beach and Tate's, and watching anime and youth group and... omg Constantine was so good, it had some great reproductions of hell and really made so many people in the theater think on life after death. Gabriel was definately my fav character in it. Kevin's house is always fun, DDR was so fun like a week ago there, but we just ate, watched a old old old video of the youth group, and played pool. omg the video was like so old, I think I was 14 in it or something. lol the old skool youth group, JG@!!@!@@!!!@!@!@ Where did you all go to, there must have been a hundred people that I hung out with back then from the group, but now you are all gone. oh almost forgot I went out for all you can eat sushi with Jaison, Sofia, my sis, and Emily. That was interesting, I had eel, octopus, fish egg(Smelt Roe). I massacared like 20,000 fish in one bite eating that fish egg stuff. hehe this was rather random and run onny. I'm dead tired so I don't know what to write about. Work has been taking up so much of my time lately and I haven't been getting to bed at a decent time. Plus my weekend wasn't very restful. Oh the stresses of life(work) I just want to retire, right now, never work again. naw, being a fire fighter/paramedic should be fun. Atleast that will keep my interest for a while.

DJ Slavick ^_^

This is one of my best friends sites, well virtual directory. It usually has some of his club mixs and pix. His name is Jeff Slavick and he's a DJ/tech dude/former fellow IRO player/really kool guy. lol